Spark

Nov. 8th, 2013 12:58 pm
teaberryblue: (happy)
Oh, yeah, right, and hi, people. I did this thing where I wrote a love song from Steve Rogers to Tony Stark. Because that is my life now. This is full of science nerd stuff.



Lyrics on Ao3

Spark

Nov. 8th, 2013 12:58 pm
teaberryblue: (happy)
Oh, yeah, right, and hi, people. I did this thing where I wrote a love song from Steve Rogers to Tony Stark. Because that is my life now. This is full of science nerd stuff.



Lyrics on Ao3
teaberryblue: (happy)
So, I, uh. I'm still not sure what to think of this, but I'm writing Avengers fanfic.

Dear Captain America.

I started writing it this week. [livejournal.com profile] rainy_day has been writing a story that I've been discussing with her since before she started it, in April, and I really liked the premise of it, because she's actually trying to write Captain America in the present day as someone with 1940s sensibilities rather than just a lot of anachronistic jokes or points where he doesn't understand pop culture, which seems like a tall order but also a rather good commentary.

She hit a wall in her story and we were discussing where to go with it, and as a sort of morale booster thing, I decided to write a letter from Tony Stark to Steve Rogers for her.

And I kind of got hooked. I started writing letters from Tony Stark to a fictional writer-of-Captain-America (since the Captain America comic exists in Marvel canon, in one of those wonderful metaliterary twists that I love), and it's chock full or nerdery about comic history and comic fan mail, but I'm also trying to write in character development and plot and I just don't know what I got myself into.

Plus, the comments people are leaving on it are just amazing.

Part of me is torn because I feel like if I'm going to write something, I should write something commercially viable, but I also love the idea of playing with characters who are cultural icons because there's something intensely meaningful about it. I wrote a couple blog comments this week about why it's important to demand change from big publishers like DC and Marvel, because they have ownership of beloved icons and have the power to use those icons in important stories. This is in the wake of DC canceling a story where Batwoman would marry her longtime girlfriend. Ironically, DC didn't cancel the story because they were concerned about the lesbian angle, but because they thought the characters getting married would make them seem "old." This is in line with them retconning a ton of hetero marriages, as well, so I'm willing to believe that, but it doesn't take away my disappointment.

So I've been doing that. I also need to say that I'm completely floored by the response I've gotten. I've been posting fics on fanfic archives for years, and the most I've ever gotten is about fifteen comments on a single Harry Potter fic. This one already has over 2000 hits, forty-odd comments, and all of them are pretty much unequivocal praise. Some of them are really long and well-considered and talking about what I'm doing with a lot more thought than I was putting into the fic at first. I'm extremely touched that people are taking the time and are feeling this strongly about something I had just started noodling around with for kicks, and it sort of makes me feel like I need to do better.

I've also been playing more music, of course.

I also played this song for [livejournal.com profile] rainy_day, since she said she'd been listening to it on repeat while working on her fix:



And here's a song I wrote in 2000, about falling out of love:

teaberryblue: (happy)
So, I, uh. I'm still not sure what to think of this, but I'm writing Avengers fanfic.

Dear Captain America.

I started writing it this week. [livejournal.com profile] rainy_day has been writing a story that I've been discussing with her since before she started it, in April, and I really liked the premise of it, because she's actually trying to write Captain America in the present day as someone with 1940s sensibilities rather than just a lot of anachronistic jokes or points where he doesn't understand pop culture, which seems like a tall order but also a rather good commentary.

She hit a wall in her story and we were discussing where to go with it, and as a sort of morale booster thing, I decided to write a letter from Tony Stark to Steve Rogers for her.

And I kind of got hooked. I started writing letters from Tony Stark to a fictional writer-of-Captain-America (since the Captain America comic exists in Marvel canon, in one of those wonderful metaliterary twists that I love), and it's chock full or nerdery about comic history and comic fan mail, but I'm also trying to write in character development and plot and I just don't know what I got myself into.

Plus, the comments people are leaving on it are just amazing.

Part of me is torn because I feel like if I'm going to write something, I should write something commercially viable, but I also love the idea of playing with characters who are cultural icons because there's something intensely meaningful about it. I wrote a couple blog comments this week about why it's important to demand change from big publishers like DC and Marvel, because they have ownership of beloved icons and have the power to use those icons in important stories. This is in the wake of DC canceling a story where Batwoman would marry her longtime girlfriend. Ironically, DC didn't cancel the story because they were concerned about the lesbian angle, but because they thought the characters getting married would make them seem "old." This is in line with them retconning a ton of hetero marriages, as well, so I'm willing to believe that, but it doesn't take away my disappointment.

So I've been doing that. I also need to say that I'm completely floored by the response I've gotten. I've been posting fics on fanfic archives for years, and the most I've ever gotten is about fifteen comments on a single Harry Potter fic. This one already has over 2000 hits, forty-odd comments, and all of them are pretty much unequivocal praise. Some of them are really long and well-considered and talking about what I'm doing with a lot more thought than I was putting into the fic at first. I'm extremely touched that people are taking the time and are feeling this strongly about something I had just started noodling around with for kicks, and it sort of makes me feel like I need to do better.

I've also been playing more music, of course.

I also played this song for [livejournal.com profile] rainy_day, since she said she'd been listening to it on repeat while working on her fix:



And here's a song I wrote in 2000, about falling out of love:

teaberryblue: (happy)
On the way home from lunch, I worked out the chords to a song I wrote when I was fifteen.

FIFTEEN. It was the first song I wrote that I was really proud of. And I never had a way to play it. And now I can play it. Or will be able to with practice.

Songs I wrote that I can play now:

The Sea Song
Summer
Rattle
Grand Central Circus
I Love You
Brazen Angels

Ones I haven't recorded yet, but know the chords:

Antoine
Stay
4 & 20

Ones I am close to having the chords for:

Don't Be Cruel (Yes, it's a response to the Elvis Presley song of the same name)

That's ten songs. Ten songs I've written over a twenty year period that I couldn't play before now.

Ones I want to work on:

Coffeeshop Boyfriend
Raindancer
Out
Hot Potato
Immovable Object
Perfect Like The Sun
Bianca Never

So anyway, here's a link to the very very very old archive of song lyrics I wrote a long time ago:

http://www.antagonia.net/old%20shit/songs/

I'm a little...hesitant to show them around. A lot of them are bad, angsty things I wrote in my college days. But if any of you particularly like any of the lyrics, I will try to learn music for them.

Oh my god I am so in love with this thing.
teaberryblue: (happy)
On the way home from lunch, I worked out the chords to a song I wrote when I was fifteen.

FIFTEEN. It was the first song I wrote that I was really proud of. And I never had a way to play it. And now I can play it. Or will be able to with practice.

Songs I wrote that I can play now:

The Sea Song
Summer
Rattle
Grand Central Circus
I Love You
Brazen Angels

Ones I haven't recorded yet, but know the chords:

Antoine
Stay
4 & 20

Ones I am close to having the chords for:

Don't Be Cruel (Yes, it's a response to the Elvis Presley song of the same name)

That's ten songs. Ten songs I've written over a twenty year period that I couldn't play before now.

Ones I want to work on:

Coffeeshop Boyfriend
Raindancer
Out
Hot Potato
Immovable Object
Perfect Like The Sun
Bianca Never

So anyway, here's a link to the very very very old archive of song lyrics I wrote a long time ago:

http://www.antagonia.net/old%20shit/songs/

I'm a little...hesitant to show them around. A lot of them are bad, angsty things I wrote in my college days. But if any of you particularly like any of the lyrics, I will try to learn music for them.

Oh my god I am so in love with this thing.
teaberryblue: (Default)
I wrote a song about the NYC subway and circus animals.

teaberryblue: (Default)
Three weeks today. I wrote another song!

RATTLE

Aug. 14th, 2013 01:37 am
teaberryblue: (Default)
I JUST STUMBLED MY WAY THROUGH PLAYING A SONG I WROTE ON UKE.

RATTLE

Aug. 14th, 2013 01:37 am
teaberryblue: (Default)
I JUST STUMBLED MY WAY THROUGH PLAYING A SONG I WROTE ON UKE.

teaberryblue: (Default)
This is for [profile] deathrockboy. All for [profile] deathrockboy.

If you don't know who Will is, Will and I met in a Smashing Pumpkins chatroom on AOL along with [personal profile] leviadams back in 1995-1996. We have been internet friends pretty much ever since, apart from a brief period during college when we were out of touch.

He is one of my two favorite people I have never met. The other one would be [personal profile] alephz.

Anyway, Will writes songs.

He wrote this one, which I am butchering with my minimal ukulele skills here:



Here is the proper version of it which is much more awesome:

teaberryblue: (Default)
This is for [profile] deathrockboy. All for [profile] deathrockboy.

If you don't know who Will is, Will and I met in a Smashing Pumpkins chatroom on AOL along with [personal profile] leviadams back in 1995-1996. We have been internet friends pretty much ever since, apart from a brief period during college when we were out of touch.

He is one of my two favorite people I have never met. The other one would be [personal profile] alephz.

Anyway, Will writes songs.

He wrote this one, which I am butchering with my minimal ukulele skills here:



Here is the proper version of it which is much more awesome:

teaberryblue: (Default)
I have learned 3 songs well enough that I can play them by memory, not counting 'Happy Birthday," and I have lost track of how many chords I know. There are three songs I can almost play by memory, and three more songs I can play passably with the chords in front of me.

I have decided to learn a bunch of catchy pop songs that were not intended for ukulele. It's pretty fun. RESULTS:



Also, my fingers hurt.
teaberryblue: (Default)
I have learned 3 songs well enough that I can play them by memory, not counting 'Happy Birthday," and I have lost track of how many chords I know. There are three songs I can almost play by memory, and three more songs I can play passably with the chords in front of me.

I have decided to learn a bunch of catchy pop songs that were not intended for ukulele. It's pretty fun. RESULTS:



Also, my fingers hurt.

Growing up

Aug. 8th, 2013 10:22 am
teaberryblue: (Default)
So, yesterday was my 35th birthday. It feels like it should have been a monumental celebration-- I had a really insane birthday when I turned 30, with lots of people from all over the world coming to New York to celebrate with me, and it lasted several days. This one was much smaller and quieter-- I had a small picnic with a few friends who are not big party types on Sunday, a bigger party at Ward III as has become tradition on Monday, and then yesterday Connie took me on a small lunch adventure to see the Central Park Zoo clock chime at 1:30, and then to a wooden gazebo, and then we got gelato. Then I went and played ukulele by myself for an hour at the park near the Intrepid, and then I met my dad and Angel for a really nice fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant in Hell's Kitchen.

I went home and packed some boxes, called my mom, and played ukulele some more.

My ukulele's name is Elaine. I'm not sure where that came from, I just started referring to it as Elaine. I don't remember who I was talking to, but I was having a conversation about All The Elaines in King Arthur, and I think it might partly have come from that, and partly from the bit where Elaine Romain is one of my favorite roleplaying characters I've ever written. (Elaine, for those who do not know, is a 16-year-old half-Yoruba, half-French, Sea-Witch-in-Training who is calculating, manipulative, stormy, and has an insanely erratic sense of self-preservation.) But I think the ukulele just kind of named itself.

I am so excited about the ukulele, I can't even start to explain. I mean, I'm obviously going to. I played cello when I was a super little kid, and then I switched to saxophone and oboe, and then taught myself fife on the side, but really all the instruments I play are wind instruments and therefore not really good for, well, accompanying oneself. And I want to be able to play my own songs for people, because I write songs pretty much all the time. I think in songs; songs show up in my dreams, there's a constant stream of music in my head.

I guess maybe I've never had the courage or conviction to learn before? I don't know. I because convinced as a teenager that I was already too old to learn to play a guitar or the piano, because I heard the kids who were talking about their piano lessons and how "twelve was really late to start." And I just kept getting older, of course, and then I was really too old to start. But that's nonsense.

Brendan, my boss, once said to me that adults are told that they need to learn certain skills as children, or that children can absorb and learn faster than adults, but that that's not so, that it's just that progress feels slower to an adult, because they have a more refined idea of what "good" is. But you can practice and learn just as well at 35 as you can at 10.

I got this ukulele and was convinced I would maybe learn a few chords and it would sit in a corner and be another testament to my failure to play a musical instrument, but that I had to try. Had to try, you know.

And I'm learning it faster than I ever expected. I know a full complement of major chords, and some of the minor chords. I can read tabs well enough to pick up a song and at least fumble my way through it. I know how to pluck one song and I know the chords for two others by heart. I'm learning three more. I am working through figuring out the chords to a couple of the songs I've written, but I also have come to accept that that might take a while. I am working on a ridiculous project which you will all hear fairly soon.

I think two weeks into having a cello, I could play one note over and over. Maybe two.

I am so excited to see where I am in a month.

Growing up

Aug. 8th, 2013 10:22 am
teaberryblue: (Default)
So, yesterday was my 35th birthday. It feels like it should have been a monumental celebration-- I had a really insane birthday when I turned 30, with lots of people from all over the world coming to New York to celebrate with me, and it lasted several days. This one was much smaller and quieter-- I had a small picnic with a few friends who are not big party types on Sunday, a bigger party at Ward III as has become tradition on Monday, and then yesterday Connie took me on a small lunch adventure to see the Central Park Zoo clock chime at 1:30, and then to a wooden gazebo, and then we got gelato. Then I went and played ukulele by myself for an hour at the park near the Intrepid, and then I met my dad and Angel for a really nice fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant in Hell's Kitchen.

I went home and packed some boxes, called my mom, and played ukulele some more.

My ukulele's name is Elaine. I'm not sure where that came from, I just started referring to it as Elaine. I don't remember who I was talking to, but I was having a conversation about All The Elaines in King Arthur, and I think it might partly have come from that, and partly from the bit where Elaine Romain is one of my favorite roleplaying characters I've ever written. (Elaine, for those who do not know, is a 16-year-old half-Yoruba, half-French, Sea-Witch-in-Training who is calculating, manipulative, stormy, and has an insanely erratic sense of self-preservation.) But I think the ukulele just kind of named itself.

I am so excited about the ukulele, I can't even start to explain. I mean, I'm obviously going to. I played cello when I was a super little kid, and then I switched to saxophone and oboe, and then taught myself fife on the side, but really all the instruments I play are wind instruments and therefore not really good for, well, accompanying oneself. And I want to be able to play my own songs for people, because I write songs pretty much all the time. I think in songs; songs show up in my dreams, there's a constant stream of music in my head.

I guess maybe I've never had the courage or conviction to learn before? I don't know. I because convinced as a teenager that I was already too old to learn to play a guitar or the piano, because I heard the kids who were talking about their piano lessons and how "twelve was really late to start." And I just kept getting older, of course, and then I was really too old to start. But that's nonsense.

Brendan, my boss, once said to me that adults are told that they need to learn certain skills as children, or that children can absorb and learn faster than adults, but that that's not so, that it's just that progress feels slower to an adult, because they have a more refined idea of what "good" is. But you can practice and learn just as well at 35 as you can at 10.

I got this ukulele and was convinced I would maybe learn a few chords and it would sit in a corner and be another testament to my failure to play a musical instrument, but that I had to try. Had to try, you know.

And I'm learning it faster than I ever expected. I know a full complement of major chords, and some of the minor chords. I can read tabs well enough to pick up a song and at least fumble my way through it. I know how to pluck one song and I know the chords for two others by heart. I'm learning three more. I am working through figuring out the chords to a couple of the songs I've written, but I also have come to accept that that might take a while. I am working on a ridiculous project which you will all hear fairly soon.

I think two weeks into having a cello, I could play one note over and over. Maybe two.

I am so excited to see where I am in a month.

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