Goodbye, LJ Idol!
Jun. 29th, 2010 09:35 pmI know a lot of you are probably shocked that I decided to drop out of the LJ Idol competition, so I decided that I owe everyone an explanation.
I would like to thank everyone who did vote for me and who had picked me as a favorite to win, as well as everyone who just enjoyed my entries over the past eight million years since the competition started. I had a lot of fun making them, and I will tell everyone that I got what I wanted out of participating. I dropped out because I decided it was the right thing to do, and I think it was a positive choice for myself and for my fellow participants.
So why did I leave?
1) I'm not that competitive.
I didn't enter LJ Idol to win. I entered it to make friends and to have fun prompts to use to help challenge myself to make comics.
I know a lot of people say they didn't enter to win, but I really mean that. The best way I can show that is by not taking the pleasure of winning away from someone who really wants to.
We're getting down to the part of the competition where winning is important. And I know there are some people who did enter with the hope of winning. I'm just not one of them. I'm really flattered that so many people love my stuff, but I think that there are a number of other people involved in Idol who will get a lot more out of winning than I will. I mean, I don't even like the idea of putting a banner in my userinfo or having my name in the sidebar of the community! Silly, I know, but it would be a waste for me to win.
So, yeah, it's not why I signed up, and it doesn't really interest me to win. Is it lovely to think many people would choose me as a favorite? Yep! But I've gotten enough praise and good thoughts and positive feedback from participating already. Somebody else should win.
2) It's more interesting this way.
Most weeks, I'm in one of the top three spots in the poll. Many weeks, I am in first place. It's really nice and all, but I think the competition will be more fun if things get shaken up a little bit. This is a good way to do that. Being at the top of the poll for so many weeks, especially weeks when I didn't ask my friendslist for help, is lovely and in some ways is more gratifying to me than winning a single poll.
3) I entered to have fun.
And the pace, duration, and quantity of content required for the competition is less fun for me at this point. I would rather spend my time NOT wondering how the heck I will get two or three or four entries done in a week. I like things like going to barbecues and making ice cream and...oh shit, okay, everything I like involves food.
4) This game wasn't really designed for comics.
I'm not saying comics haven't been welcome in the game. I think they have been very welcomed-- everyone has been so supportive of my comics, it's incredible, especially when it comes from people who aren't comic fans. But it wasn't designed for comics, and the closer we got to the end, the clearer it became that the amount of work required was going to be too much for me to balance with the rest of my life. Sure, I could do it, but I would rather choose to have my time to spend the way I wish. I discussed my peculiar position in the contest at length with Gary and I decided that while I didn't expect him to completely change the game around for just one player when drawing comics was something I chose to do voluntarily, and it would make it a heck of a lot easier on him to know he didn't have to worry that anything he was doing was hurting one player more than the others. It was a great experiment and I think that it is pretty good proof that someone with significantly more free time (and, say, no friends, family, or dishes to wash) could win LJ Idol by exclusively drawing comics.
5) I get to do something nice for someone else this way.
Gary tells me that if I drop out during the poll, someone else gets to stay in. That is kind of awesome. The way I see it, I would hate to get to a point where I *can't* finish the required entries for the week and *have* to drop out, and took a spot that could have gone to someone else at that point. So rather than playing till I just couldn't play anymore, I decided it would be better to bow out with a little foresight and make sure I'm not taking someone else's spot.
I should also explain that Gary made me make a list, in order, of who would be saved, before the polls close. This made it really hard because I had to rank everyone. And I created a little ranking system that might not be perfect but made it easier for me. So I didn't know when I made the list who would be saved and who wouldn't. I apologize to
alexpgp for not saving you this week; you have seriously been one of my favorite writers in the competition and I love your stories to death. The two people who were facing elimination were literally ONE SPOT away from each other on the list I sent Gary; that is how close it was.
It's funny, because today, the polls were very close. And it made me feel very at peace with the whole thing, knowing that no matter what, I would be leaving. And yes, I knew I was leaving before I posted asking for votes. I just felt like I should act like it was any other week right until the end. I also wanted to make sure this was a surprise!
I want to make one more statement before closing this out: I may or may not participate in the Home Game depending on whether my own projects fit the topics. However, if anyone is interested in working on a short comic with me (the length of the Idol ones) or would like me to draw anything for subsequent Idol entries (like, one picture), feel free to ask. Depending on timing, I'd be happy to play with all of you!
I would like to thank everyone who did vote for me and who had picked me as a favorite to win, as well as everyone who just enjoyed my entries over the past eight million years since the competition started. I had a lot of fun making them, and I will tell everyone that I got what I wanted out of participating. I dropped out because I decided it was the right thing to do, and I think it was a positive choice for myself and for my fellow participants.
So why did I leave?
1) I'm not that competitive.
I didn't enter LJ Idol to win. I entered it to make friends and to have fun prompts to use to help challenge myself to make comics.
I know a lot of people say they didn't enter to win, but I really mean that. The best way I can show that is by not taking the pleasure of winning away from someone who really wants to.
We're getting down to the part of the competition where winning is important. And I know there are some people who did enter with the hope of winning. I'm just not one of them. I'm really flattered that so many people love my stuff, but I think that there are a number of other people involved in Idol who will get a lot more out of winning than I will. I mean, I don't even like the idea of putting a banner in my userinfo or having my name in the sidebar of the community! Silly, I know, but it would be a waste for me to win.
So, yeah, it's not why I signed up, and it doesn't really interest me to win. Is it lovely to think many people would choose me as a favorite? Yep! But I've gotten enough praise and good thoughts and positive feedback from participating already. Somebody else should win.
2) It's more interesting this way.
Most weeks, I'm in one of the top three spots in the poll. Many weeks, I am in first place. It's really nice and all, but I think the competition will be more fun if things get shaken up a little bit. This is a good way to do that. Being at the top of the poll for so many weeks, especially weeks when I didn't ask my friendslist for help, is lovely and in some ways is more gratifying to me than winning a single poll.
3) I entered to have fun.
And the pace, duration, and quantity of content required for the competition is less fun for me at this point. I would rather spend my time NOT wondering how the heck I will get two or three or four entries done in a week. I like things like going to barbecues and making ice cream and...oh shit, okay, everything I like involves food.
4) This game wasn't really designed for comics.
I'm not saying comics haven't been welcome in the game. I think they have been very welcomed-- everyone has been so supportive of my comics, it's incredible, especially when it comes from people who aren't comic fans. But it wasn't designed for comics, and the closer we got to the end, the clearer it became that the amount of work required was going to be too much for me to balance with the rest of my life. Sure, I could do it, but I would rather choose to have my time to spend the way I wish. I discussed my peculiar position in the contest at length with Gary and I decided that while I didn't expect him to completely change the game around for just one player when drawing comics was something I chose to do voluntarily, and it would make it a heck of a lot easier on him to know he didn't have to worry that anything he was doing was hurting one player more than the others. It was a great experiment and I think that it is pretty good proof that someone with significantly more free time (and, say, no friends, family, or dishes to wash) could win LJ Idol by exclusively drawing comics.
5) I get to do something nice for someone else this way.
Gary tells me that if I drop out during the poll, someone else gets to stay in. That is kind of awesome. The way I see it, I would hate to get to a point where I *can't* finish the required entries for the week and *have* to drop out, and took a spot that could have gone to someone else at that point. So rather than playing till I just couldn't play anymore, I decided it would be better to bow out with a little foresight and make sure I'm not taking someone else's spot.
I should also explain that Gary made me make a list, in order, of who would be saved, before the polls close. This made it really hard because I had to rank everyone. And I created a little ranking system that might not be perfect but made it easier for me. So I didn't know when I made the list who would be saved and who wouldn't. I apologize to
It's funny, because today, the polls were very close. And it made me feel very at peace with the whole thing, knowing that no matter what, I would be leaving. And yes, I knew I was leaving before I posted asking for votes. I just felt like I should act like it was any other week right until the end. I also wanted to make sure this was a surprise!
I want to make one more statement before closing this out: I may or may not participate in the Home Game depending on whether my own projects fit the topics. However, if anyone is interested in working on a short comic with me (the length of the Idol ones) or would like me to draw anything for subsequent Idol entries (like, one picture), feel free to ask. Depending on timing, I'd be happy to play with all of you!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 01:42 am (UTC)I've always thought that if I needed to drop out, I'd do so during the poll so as to save someone else if I could at all swing it. I think the way that you've done this is lovely. I also think you've completely and utterly proven that comics could most definitely win Idol because there's no doubt that you had a great shot at the title. Instead, this way, we get to enjoy your comics again next time round if you decide to play.
I'd also like to say thank you again for sending over a copy of your wordless entry for my son. It really meant a lot to both of us and it's the behind the scenes nice things that people don't see that speak volumes.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:08 am (UTC)I probably won't play again, just because this was such a huge time commitment and while it's been a great learning experience, I want to work on more serious projects of my own.
And sleeping.
And you're very welcome. I'm really glad he enjoyed it so much!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 01:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 01:43 am (UTC)I really, really hate to see you drop out, since I was one of the people pegging you as a winner months ago. (After
You will be sorely missed in Idol.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:12 am (UTC)Thank you so much for the kind words. I think I *am* a winner, personally, because I got exactly what I wanted out of this experience!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 01:45 am (UTC)Of course, I bet against Kitty, so my own fault. I wonder what he's going to buy?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:15 am (UTC)Which would be apropos considering he won it off me.
I would have loved to have continued playing, but Gary would have had to have Idol "weeks" that stretched a month if there was going to be enough time for me to finish multiple entries!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 01:50 am (UTC)I KINDA GUESSED YOU WOULD DO THIS
not 'cause I'm like super smart but because you are kind and clever and you knew you woulda probably won or come very close to winning if you stayed in.
BUT WAAAH I STILL WILL MISS YOUR IDOL ENTRIES.
And also, I would LOOOVE to work with you again if you ever need (or want, or even vaguely desire!) a Cat-type thing.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:23 am (UTC)How did you guess?!?! You are the smartest Cat ever. I don't think anyone else guessed.
(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-30 01:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:25 am (UTC)Thanks so much for taking such a keen interest in Idol. It's been great to see.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:04 am (UTC)You are great.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:06 am (UTC)*bows*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:28 am (UTC)Goodbye, LJ Idol!
Date: 2010-06-30 02:13 am (UTC)Also, I have a ton of respect for you. Like, seriously, a ton. Because you have class. And you would rather be kind to others than arrogantly/stupidly selfish. And because what you say in public maps directly to what you actually do.
Let's get married tomorrow.
Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
Date: 2010-06-30 02:25 am (UTC)Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
From:Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
From:Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
From:Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:17 am (UTC)(And perish the thought of apologizing to anyone, least of all to me! The game unfolds the way it should, and I for one have no complaints.)
Cheers...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:43 am (UTC)I did feel bad, though, it was very strange that the two of you were literally right next to each other on my list. But I totally dug both of your stories this week, especially the dragon one. I felt like your dragon needed to get together with my princess from my earlier story! Your stuff is really phenomenal and I'm in good company going out this week.
Wow
Date: 2010-06-30 02:23 am (UTC)I really don't.
So I'll confess that I'm crying a little bit (I'm fucking crying a little bit, goddammit!) and I will say "Thank you."
I just...
A whole bunch of weeks ago I told you you were a Quality Human. Back then I didn't know just how much quality there was. I would have left it at "Goddamn, you really are a quality human" if it were anyone else, so given fact it's for me you'll just have to accept that I'm fucking crying a little bit and that will have to be the added emphasis.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I... thanks.
Re: Wow
Date: 2010-06-30 02:48 am (UTC)Does it make you feel better if I tell you this comment made me grin?
You're very welcome! I'm really glad I got to do it!
<3
Goodbye, LJ Idol!
From:Re: Goodbye, LJ Idol!
From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:33 am (UTC)CONGRATS ON BEING AWESOME
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:45 am (UTC)I think when it comes time for me to take my own stock of what I've gotten out of this season of LJ Idol, you are going to be right on top of that list. Meeting a terrific new friend practically in my own backyard (except for the not having a backyard bit) -- it doesn't get much better than that.
It won't be the same without you in the game. I've been expecting for a long time now that you would be the one who came out on top in the end, but I guess you've found your own way to do that now. Well played, lady.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 02:51 am (UTC)I am thrilled I met you, too. I am so excited to have you nearby! New friends are the best.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 03:11 am (UTC)I DID wonder how that second surprise entry impacted you this last week. That had to be difficult to get done.
I think you could have won overall but I agree with the "need time for other things"
I'm glad we're friends because I can still see your work sometimes (I hope:)
It was very kind of you to give someone else your place..
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 03:27 am (UTC)And I'm really happy I got to give someone my spot. It was neat to watch the poll because I didn't know who would get it, I just knew who was most likely to get it.
And yes! You will see all my work that I post here!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 03:19 am (UTC)Alex wants to request More Alexis!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 03:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-30 05:17 am (UTC)♥
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 12:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 06:54 am (UTC)Seriously, I had NO idea! It was a lovely idea, because as we were talking about last night, I had no idea how you would manage to do topics at this rate. And, even though it's damn sad, I am secretly happy that you will now return to a more sane life, and projects on your own.
There's a little bit inside me that's envious, but what the hell. I've always prided myself on my writing output, so if Gary wants to up the writing stakes, then I just say bring it on...
Also, you are one of the classiest human beings I have ever met, and also one of the most forthright and honest ones. That's one thing I've always respected with you, that and your spine of steel, and balls of brass.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 12:20 pm (UTC)But yeah, it was funny when you were saying that yesterday and I was like....um. Actually.
It's not sad! I couldn't be more pleased with my decision. And yeah. I think there's a big difference what with writing-- finding a few hours free to write a new entry is not the same as finding a few dozen hours free to draw one. It might get harder, but it will never be not doable.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 07:45 am (UTC)that is all.
no wait, just one more thing...
by working on short comic you mean, you're willing to draw things to existing writing, or write things for non-existent drawings?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 12:21 pm (UTC)I am working with
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 08:01 am (UTC)One thing you have done is, I think, pave the way -- or, actually show -- that one can approach Idol in a way other than by straight writing. Sometimes illustrations/comics say more than words.
You are one talented woman. I've loved reading you.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 12:26 pm (UTC)I do agree. I think there are some really good examples to be seen in comics and films, where a whole page of text can be represented by just one picture or a few seconds of film. A picture can really be worth a thousand words.
And thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 11:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-30 12:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-30 03:22 pm (UTC)