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teaberryblueAs some of you know because you've been getting the up-to-the-minute play-by-play, I've been watching a LOT of Argento lately. Now, understand, I saw three or four of his movies (Suspiria, Inferno, Opera, and Phenomena, at least...maybe a couple others?) in college, but I decided, for some reason known only the the darkest corners of my psyche, that I needed to see more.
Now, for any of you who have never seen an Argento film, or have seen some and are considering seeing one you haven't watched, let me present the ALL-PURPOSE ARGENTO SYNOPSIS.
In the opening scene, we are introduced to a young woman/girl (choose one) who appears to be the protagonist. She is intelligent and, if the scenario permits, has strong feminist ideals.
SURPRISE! She's not the protagonist after all! In the next scene, or a few scenes later, she is brutally murdered! Oh no!
Meanwhile, the main character, _______, who has an exceptional talent for _______, finds him or herself in a new locale, probably in a foreign country! He or she witnesses the murder, or finds an important clue. He or she KNOWS, though, that there's something more to it-- something they can't quite put their finger on!
The most interesting part is that something to do with the case somehow involves whatever thing the protagonist is exceptionally talented at!
After speaking to the authorities, our protagonist is drawn into the murder case-- first feeling obliged, or being forced to help, then becoming fascinated by it, until it borders on an obsession. Friends, mentor figures, and girlfriends get upset and warn the protagonist to stop while he or she still can. An attempt to leave the country may be suggested.
Somewhere in here, there is a conversation about gender roles and about women's ability to take care of themselves.
Meanwhile, more people are brutally murdered, and the protagonist has a close call and/or warning from the killer!
Then, while looking into one last clue, suddenly, the protagonist is confronted by the killer, who threatens to do him/her in-- and it's a character we've met before, who seems like his/her alibi should have been cleared.
If the protagonist has a girlfriend, her life may be threatened at this point in the movie!
This person dies brutally, possibly in an accident while attempting to off the protagonist, or while running away.
But now in a flash of inspiration, the protagonist REALIZES what that thing was that they couldn't quite remember or put together until now. That person wasn't the killer after all! No! In fact, they were only trying to protect the killer, and in reality, the killer is someone else, and, if the protagonist has a girlfriend who wasn't already injured, she's now in grave danger!
Even more surprisingly, the killer is a woman or child, or someone else who, because of our own predispositions to character types, we did not suspect! He or she may have a psychological condition which made her kill people!
Now, a suspenseful struggle takes place, and the killer dies gruesomely, often by accident!
Run credits and score by The Goblins.
Now, for any of you who have never seen an Argento film, or have seen some and are considering seeing one you haven't watched, let me present the ALL-PURPOSE ARGENTO SYNOPSIS.
In the opening scene, we are introduced to a young woman/girl (choose one) who appears to be the protagonist. She is intelligent and, if the scenario permits, has strong feminist ideals.
SURPRISE! She's not the protagonist after all! In the next scene, or a few scenes later, she is brutally murdered! Oh no!
Meanwhile, the main character, _______, who has an exceptional talent for _______, finds him or herself in a new locale, probably in a foreign country! He or she witnesses the murder, or finds an important clue. He or she KNOWS, though, that there's something more to it-- something they can't quite put their finger on!
The most interesting part is that something to do with the case somehow involves whatever thing the protagonist is exceptionally talented at!
After speaking to the authorities, our protagonist is drawn into the murder case-- first feeling obliged, or being forced to help, then becoming fascinated by it, until it borders on an obsession. Friends, mentor figures, and girlfriends get upset and warn the protagonist to stop while he or she still can. An attempt to leave the country may be suggested.
Somewhere in here, there is a conversation about gender roles and about women's ability to take care of themselves.
Meanwhile, more people are brutally murdered, and the protagonist has a close call and/or warning from the killer!
Then, while looking into one last clue, suddenly, the protagonist is confronted by the killer, who threatens to do him/her in-- and it's a character we've met before, who seems like his/her alibi should have been cleared.
If the protagonist has a girlfriend, her life may be threatened at this point in the movie!
This person dies brutally, possibly in an accident while attempting to off the protagonist, or while running away.
But now in a flash of inspiration, the protagonist REALIZES what that thing was that they couldn't quite remember or put together until now. That person wasn't the killer after all! No! In fact, they were only trying to protect the killer, and in reality, the killer is someone else, and, if the protagonist has a girlfriend who wasn't already injured, she's now in grave danger!
Even more surprisingly, the killer is a woman or child, or someone else who, because of our own predispositions to character types, we did not suspect! He or she may have a psychological condition which made her kill people!
Now, a suspenseful struggle takes place, and the killer dies gruesomely, often by accident!
Run credits and score by The Goblins.