Do you want to know how awesome today is? Today was FREAKING AWESOME.
Okay, this is not what I was expecting to post about today. But then it happened and it is so freaking amazing and hooray!
So, I posted a list a little while ago of a few things I wanted for my birthday. Not really because I expected to get them, mostly as a reminder for myself. But I didn’t send that list to my parents.
Today, before dinner, my mother says to me, “we need to talk about your birthday present. Do you want it today?”
And I was like, “uhh, my birthday is more than a month off.”
My mother replied by saying that my present was something I could use if I had it now, and I might like having it now as opposed to later. So I told her that it was up to you.
“I hate to admit, though,” I said to my mother. “I feel a little bad. I have a birthday present list and I never sent it to you.”
“Well,” said my mother. “Send it to me now, and I won’t look at it until after you open your present, and you can tell me if it was on your list.”
I was doubtful that it was on my list. I told my mother that the list was very short, but mostly expensive things. (It is.) I also told her that it was up to her. If she thought it was more useful to give me my present now, she could give it to me now.
Anyway, we ate our delicious dinner (of which I took plentiful photos.) At the end of dinner, my parents asked again if we should get out the birthday present. I think I asked if it was something I could use for the rest of the summer, and my father said no, it was something I could use for the rest of my life. So I asked if it was a vibrator. I was told that this present had better last longer than a vibrator. And then my mother brings out a HUGE HONKING BOX.
I looked at the box. The box needed a knife to open it. I took my butter knife from the dinner table and went to work.

The box was full of brown paper. I pulled off the paper. Here is my reaction:

“IT IS ONE OF THE THINGS ON MY LIST!” I exclaimed.
Can you guess what it is? I promptly took it out of the box, and as it was too large to hug, I sat on it:

My father got concerned about me sitting on the box for such an expensive gift. Now can you guess what it is? Hint: it is not a vibrator.

(My mother kept trying to get me to pose for photos in spite of the fact that I I pointed out to her that I am in cruddy gardening clothes and my hair is a giant puffball today anyway so I wasn’t particularly concerned about these looking like glamor shots. I posed anyway, but these are the less-posed pictures of the bunch)
Can you tell what it is from that photo? If you can’t, you should be able to tell now:

OH MY GOD NEXT STEP IS WORLD DOMINATION. YESSSSS. OR AT LEAST FIORDILATTE.
Mirrored from Antagonia.net.