tea berry-blue

I just did a little friendscut-- plain old housekeeping; I just defriended a bunch of journals that haven't been updated in several months or more, where I don't recall seeing comments from those folks.

As usual, like 95% of what I post is public, so it's unlikely you'll be missing out on much-- the last time I posted something friends-only was over two months and fifty posts ago. So you'll still be able to read and comment on almost everything. Cutting journals that haven't been updated recently is purely for my own streamlining/organization/security purposes. If you want to stay on my flist-- are still around but not posting, just let me know!

So, LiveJournal just created a feature that isn't particularly well-thought-out.

Is anyone surprised? I am not. We're kinda used to them not really thinking about how many users don't use their journals as traditional blogs. Some people do, and those people, I am sure, would love to have all the features a traditional blog has. Other people don't, and in those cases, these new features are potentially problematic in the way they're structured now.

Telling LJ you don't like them is awesome. That is a good way to respond to something you don't like.

HOWEVER, I am getting really sick of commentary from people on my friendslists and elsewhere that suddenly assumes people who have been given access to their locked posts for years are now going to misuse that trust, when they didn't misuse it before.

Yeah, there are plenty of cases of people leaking information from LJ to other places. It's been happening for years and years and people who do that are usually douchebags-- although not always; I can think of a few cases where it was really important that information from a locked post was shared. But the majority of times, this is an asshole move.

But the vast majority of us are not assholes. We respect the trust of people who allow us to see their locked posts. We have never shared information that was not intended to be shared, or have only shared it in cases where we felt an obligation to do so. We respect the line between people's different internet personae and we do not cross it.

I do not treat other people like potential criminals. If someone hurts me or does something to wrong me, I treat them as a person who has wronged me, until such a time that we can work out our differences, if I believe that's possible. I believe that it is inherently unkind to treat a person who has done nothing wrong as if I expect them to. It's something you see in a lot of workplaces, an uncomfortable relationship between management and their employees, where employees are treated as potential thieves. Sometimes, entire shifts of employees are fired, even ones who have proven their trustworthiness over months and years, because of inventory loss. I believe that is a wrong way to treat human beings.

And so, I also believe it is a wrong way to treat human beings to level threats at people or to take action that shows an inherent mistrust of people with whom you have trusted information about yourself until now. If you do not trust people to respect your privacy and the privacy of your other friends, don't let them see information that you do not trust them with. If your friends claim to mistrust other people in whom you have placed your trust, ask whether that is reasonable. Ask if your response would be the same in a face to face situation, if one friend told you that they do not trust someone whom you have known and trusted for a long time. Me, I would be insulted if someone came to me and said they expected me to change the way I run my journal because they did not trust and respect my judgment, or felt that they were entitled to decide who should have access to my posts of certain types. I have chosen whom to share what information with. I should not have to amend my choices to suit someone else's inherent mistrust.

I realize that plenty of people have felt betrayed by other people regarding lack of prudence as far as sharing internet information. But that lack of prudence, or deliberate disregard, has been going on since I first came online in 1995. No new feature is going to suddenly turn people who weren't assholes before into assholes. Do not trust people who have shown disregard for you in the past-- but do not treat people who have worked hard to gain your trust and respect as if they are potential threats. They do not deserve it, and that display of mistrust is, to me, more hurtful than most of the mistakes people could make.

So, LiveJournal just created a feature that isn't particularly well-thought-out.

Is anyone surprised? I am not. We're kinda used to them not really thinking about how many users don't use their journals as traditional blogs. Some people do, and those people, I am sure, would love to have all the features a traditional blog has. Other people don't, and in those cases, these new features are potentially problematic in the way they're structured now.

Telling LJ you don't like them is awesome. That is a good way to respond to something you don't like.

HOWEVER, I am getting really sick of commentary from people on my friendslists and elsewhere that suddenly assumes people who have been given access to their locked posts for years are now going to misuse that trust, when they didn't misuse it before.

Yeah, there are plenty of cases of people leaking information from LJ to other places. It's been happening for years and years and people who do that are usually douchebags-- although not always; I can think of a few cases where it was really important that information from a locked post was shared. But the majority of times, this is an asshole move.

But the vast majority of us are not assholes. We respect the trust of people who allow us to see their locked posts. We have never shared information that was not intended to be shared, or have only shared it in cases where we felt an obligation to do so. We respect the line between people's different internet personae and we do not cross it.

I do not treat other people like potential criminals. If someone hurts me or does something to wrong me, I treat them as a person who has wronged me, until such a time that we can work out our differences, if I believe that's possible. I believe that it is inherently unkind to treat a person who has done nothing wrong as if I expect them to. It's something you see in a lot of workplaces, an uncomfortable relationship between management and their employees, where employees are treated as potential thieves. Sometimes, entire shifts of employees are fired, even ones who have proven their trustworthiness over months and years, because of inventory loss. I believe that is a wrong way to treat human beings.

And so, I also believe it is a wrong way to treat human beings to level threats at people or to take action that shows an inherent mistrust of people with whom you have trusted information about yourself until now. If you do not trust people to respect your privacy and the privacy of your other friends, don't let them see information that you do not trust them with. If your friends claim to mistrust other people in whom you have placed your trust, ask whether that is reasonable. Ask if your response would be the same in a face to face situation, if one friend told you that they do not trust someone whom you have known and trusted for a long time. Me, I would be insulted if someone came to me and said they expected me to change the way I run my journal because they did not trust and respect my judgment, or felt that they were entitled to decide who should have access to my posts of certain types. I have chosen whom to share what information with. I should not have to amend my choices to suit someone else's inherent mistrust.

I realize that plenty of people have felt betrayed by other people regarding lack of prudence as far as sharing internet information. But that lack of prudence, or deliberate disregard, has been going on since I first came online in 1995. No new feature is going to suddenly turn people who weren't assholes before into assholes. Do not trust people who have shown disregard for you in the past-- but do not treat people who have worked hard to gain your trust and respect as if they are potential threats. They do not deserve it, and that display of mistrust is, to me, more hurtful than most of the mistakes people could make.

1) I have been running every morning! This means getting up at 6 to go out before work. On negativeneve‘s suggestion, I took this morning off and simply walked 2k instead of running. I can’t quite do more than 2.5k yet but I am trying not to push myself too hard. I am hoping this coming week, I’ll get up to three.

Since I started running, I’ve found that one of the stretches I have always done is aggravating my hip joints, mostly on the inner side. It’s always been my favorite stretch so I’m a little concerned about this. It’s become very painful to do. It doesn’t really hurt when I’m not stretching. Does anyone know what that is?

2) Part of running means I have also been incorporating breakfast into my morning routine. I never ate breakfast before! I have been eating Fage 2% yogurt with honey and homemade granola all week. I haven’t decided what I think of this morning thing, but breakfast is a plus.

3) My hair is driving me nuts. It’s gotten pretty long– below my shoulder blades– and I am using crazy amounts of conditioner to detangle it. Parts of it are matted pretty much every morning and I have to go in and pick the mats apart. I remember the last time this happened was when I was a freshman in college– the last time my hair was this long. So! I am thinking maybe my hair has reached critical mass and I should cut it back a bit. The question is whether to just cut three inches or do something short again.

4) I just bought two new dresses from eShakti. I have had several of you recommend them, so I finally was un-lazy enough to get out the measuring tape. I didn’t exactly fit any of their standard sizes, but I was closest to an 8, so I bought those. I am hoping they’ll see the big bra size and know what to do about it. If anyone’s wondering, my measurements are 38-27-38.

5) Remember a week or two ago when I told you all to read boxbrown‘s comics? Well, he has a new one, and it is called Everything Dies, and you should read it! It is about religion and humanism and stuff. There are three stories up for you to try. You should try them!

6) I am going to go meet rosefox shortly! I am very excited! So excited that I perhaps mistook the time I was supposed to meet her and almost jumped the gun by an hour and a half. Oops!

7) I like lemonade and have been drinking it a lot lately.

8) On the recent LJ thing: I have screencapped all of your locked posts, recorded video of myself reading them, and posted it on youtube. Just so y’all know. No, I wouldn’t share comments from anyone else’s posts with a link to a locked post in it; in fact, the idea to do that had never occurred to me before last night. However, whatever y’all want to do with comments on my posts is all good either way, as long as you don’t send anything I’ve ever locked into the world of public web stuffs. Even then, I will probably forgive you as long as it’s not personal information that implicates another person. If I even find out about it. But that’s just how I roll. I heart you all!

Mirrored from Antagonia.net.

So, guys, I just did a pretty significant cut to my friends' list. I've been trying to use filters to read for the past couple weeks because I didn't want to do this, but that made me feel kind of lousy, like I was deliberately relegating some people's journals to less-important status.

My friends' list had well over 200 people, and I was starting to have such a hard time keeping up that I wasn't reading at all and I was missing important things from some of my closest friends. Rather than do that, I've pared it down to below 200. This meant taking off some people whom I genuinely like, and I want to apologize, but I just couldn't keep going like I was an feel like I was able to use my LJ the way I wanted to be using it.

That said:

--I've kept on all of the newest additions, because I want to get to know you before removing you without getting a chance to become acquainted. That seemed better than removing people I haven't yet gotten to know.

--If I did remove you, you are absolutely welcome to keep reading. My journal has few, if any, locked posts (I don't think I've had one for over a month).

--If I've removed you, or if you've added me and I haven't added you back, I generally don't add people unless I've had some interactions with them elsewhere. If you take the time to comment on my LJ and get to know me, or if you converse with me elsewhere, I am definitely more likely to add you, and I won't hesitate to add back people I've removed.

--There is total defriending amnesty here. If I've kept you on my LJ but you don't want to continue to be LJ friends, please let me know, and I'll be happy to remove you and replace some of the people I've taken off.

<3 everybody!

So, as most of you know, I am a big movie geek. Today, I was talking to cacophonesque about how I want there to be a movie comm for getting and sharing recs and such that isn't super snobby but where people actually are interested in having real discussions about movies. And she suggested starting a sister community to libraholics. So now we have cineholics.

There is an application, but it only requires that you list ten movies. We will be asking you questions about the movies you pick, but we're not looking for pretentious film-school answers, just people who are eager and excited and not just interested in squeeing over trailers.

So, please join! If you have questions about joining, please let me know!

So, as most of you know, I am a big movie geek. Today, I was talking to cacophonesque about how I want there to be a movie comm for getting and sharing recs and such that isn't super snobby but where people actually are interested in having real discussions about movies. And she suggested starting a sister community to libraholics. So now we have cineholics.

There is an application, but it only requires that you list ten movies. We will be asking you questions about the movies you pick, but we're not looking for pretentious film-school answers, just people who are eager and excited and not just interested in squeeing over trailers.

So, please join! If you have questions about joining, please let me know!