tea berry-blue

My weight yesterday morning was exactly ten pounds less than my weight on April 15, when I started tracking my weight/exercise/diet/etc.

I've been walking once a week with intrepia for six months now, and we're both really excited about that. Last week, we made a commitment to raise the difficulty setting on our walks by wearing wrist weights. We'll see how that goes!

I have also been trying to walk at least one other lunch hour by myself, but I don't always get around to it. Gardening season helps a lot, I do a lot of hard work in the sun.

I am not so great at exercising in other ways. Fail!

Some of the things I've done in an attempt to become healthier:
--Eat a small breakfast (usually a granola bar). This keeps me from feeling insanely hungry at lunch time, and means that I am less likely to pig out.
--No soda! I have never been a regular soda drinker, but I've cut it out almost completely, apart from drinking it out at restaurants maybe once a week or two.
--Smaller portions! I'm not trying to keep myself from eating anything I really want, but I am trying to take, say, fewer scoops of mac and cheese and keeping to the rule of thumb that a portion of any given dish should be no larger than the size of my hand.
--Beer on the weekends! Okay, this might sound wacky. But I've discovered that if I drink a beer or two in the late afternoon, I am more fully satiated and less likely to pig out at dinner.
--Vitamins! I started taking a multivitamin and some other supplements at breakfast. This is part of the push for breakfast, too, because if I take the vitamins and don't eat, I get nauseated.
--Veggies! If I stuff myself full with green vegetables then I still eat other things with important nutrients at meals, but I'm less likely to, oh, eat a whole bag of potato chips.

My weight is about a pound heavier this morning than it was yesterday, but that is normal fluctuation. It doesn't feel like I've lost a ton of weight because my weight fluctuates about three pounds from day to day over the course of a week, but the high end of the fluctuation has been getting progressively lower-- from 159 to 156 and now to about 153. Once I am consistently under 150 lbs for a full week, I have promised myself that I will buy a nice new dress and possibly some new underwear. I think that is a fair deal.

I am pretty pleased; I am feeling more like I fit into my clothes than I have in a while, which is nice. And my thighs are definitely rubbing together less. Also good. Bras still are a nightmare, but I'll deal with that. It's just that last Wednesday and Thursday, I was so, so envious of anyone who could wear a backless dress. I have never done that since I was about nine.

So my apartment is about 1/3 of the way cleaned. There is still a HUGE stack of crap in the middle of the room, and the sofa is covered with Mikey's clothes, which need to be bagged. I'm not sure where to put the bags, though-- Sweetie, do you know when they're coming with the van?

The entryway, where my computer is, is entirely cleaned, other than the random boxes that need to be cut up and thrown out. I think I managed to get everything onto the bookshelves, too. So now tonight I think I'm gonna clean up the bedroom area and then leave the main space for when that's done. And laundry. Need to do laundry.

I accidentally left the drain pug out of the kitchen sink, leaving my sink to get clogged. Which means I have to re-clean my sink. Blargh.

And my muscles I think are the sorest they've ever been. I have these two ugly matching bruises on my upper arms and they ouchy. Also on my hipbones.

Something I've noticed about being thinner-- I have these new, funny, second points on my elbows that I don't recall having hand before. Weird new bones. I would be more interested in them, only bending my arms hurts at the moment. I'm also pretty close to needing to go out and buy new pants again. My sixes are still fitting okay, but my eights are falling off now. When I was at my parents' house this weekend, I tried on my mom's clothes from high school-- this is one of those things I use to gauge how big or little I really am. They have no sizes in them cause she cut the tags out, but most of them never fit me when I was a high schooler. All of them did, including one pair of pants that had never fit me before.

I feel kind of weird about the whole thin-ness thing. I'm not attempting to lose weight, I'm not starving myself, but it's true I don't eat much. Eating means getting up from the computer! However, I was never a big eater, and I never lost weight before. I'm now down to 124, I don't feel unhealthy, I look fairly good, if a bit pointy, though I must say being skinny makes you get ouchy sometimes because your bones are closer to the things that bump them. Since I'm terribly out-of-shape, I still have flab, which is kind of funny. I feel stupider having flab at a size six than I did at a size 10, and it kind of makes me want to exercise, but I'm afraid I would wear away into nothing!

It's a weird feeling, because I don't exactly want to be so skinny, but you know how it is, we live in an era when "you've lost weight" is analogous to "i love you," and everyone I see greets me with such gushing praise, as if I won a Pulitzer or something. I just lost weight, my god, nothing I want to accomplish has anything to do with weight at all anyway. And I don't want to explain to people that I'd probably like to be back up at maybe 130, 135. On the other hand, I do have a sort of morbid curiosity about what I would look like if I were very skinny-- new bones protruding and all kind of makes it this interesting thing I've never seen before. Oh well, I'll drink my sugar-water and let nature decide what the hell she's doing with me.

I need food. I'm a bit wary about going to the grocer quite yet because of the blackouts-- I want to make sure the food I buy isn't going to go old in a day or two because it was left without cold for so long. I could buy dry goods, but I want ice cream and pierogies, and I'm afraid if I go get them now, they'll all be refrozenish. And yeah. I need to go anyway, I have one box of rice pilaf and one can of soup. I do have pasta, but I have nothing to put on it and protein is important. I got a new toaster, so I can finally eat my Pop Tarts, but, well, I don't think Frosting counts as a nutritional supplement.

Gonna put on my headphones, tune stuff out.

So my apartment is about 1/3 of the way cleaned. There is still a HUGE stack of crap in the middle of the room, and the sofa is covered with Mikey's clothes, which need to be bagged. I'm not sure where to put the bags, though-- Sweetie, do you know when they're coming with the van?

The entryway, where my computer is, is entirely cleaned, other than the random boxes that need to be cut up and thrown out. I think I managed to get everything onto the bookshelves, too. So now tonight I think I'm gonna clean up the bedroom area and then leave the main space for when that's done. And laundry. Need to do laundry.

I accidentally left the drain pug out of the kitchen sink, leaving my sink to get clogged. Which means I have to re-clean my sink. Blargh.

And my muscles I think are the sorest they've ever been. I have these two ugly matching bruises on my upper arms and they ouchy. Also on my hipbones.

Something I've noticed about being thinner-- I have these new, funny, second points on my elbows that I don't recall having hand before. Weird new bones. I would be more interested in them, only bending my arms hurts at the moment. I'm also pretty close to needing to go out and buy new pants again. My sixes are still fitting okay, but my eights are falling off now. When I was at my parents' house this weekend, I tried on my mom's clothes from high school-- this is one of those things I use to gauge how big or little I really am. They have no sizes in them cause she cut the tags out, but most of them never fit me when I was a high schooler. All of them did, including one pair of pants that had never fit me before.

I feel kind of weird about the whole thin-ness thing. I'm not attempting to lose weight, I'm not starving myself, but it's true I don't eat much. Eating means getting up from the computer! However, I was never a big eater, and I never lost weight before. I'm now down to 124, I don't feel unhealthy, I look fairly good, if a bit pointy, though I must say being skinny makes you get ouchy sometimes because your bones are closer to the things that bump them. Since I'm terribly out-of-shape, I still have flab, which is kind of funny. I feel stupider having flab at a size six than I did at a size 10, and it kind of makes me want to exercise, but I'm afraid I would wear away into nothing!

It's a weird feeling, because I don't exactly want to be so skinny, but you know how it is, we live in an era when "you've lost weight" is analogous to "i love you," and everyone I see greets me with such gushing praise, as if I won a Pulitzer or something. I just lost weight, my god, nothing I want to accomplish has anything to do with weight at all anyway. And I don't want to explain to people that I'd probably like to be back up at maybe 130, 135. On the other hand, I do have a sort of morbid curiosity about what I would look like if I were very skinny-- new bones protruding and all kind of makes it this interesting thing I've never seen before. Oh well, I'll drink my sugar-water and let nature decide what the hell she's doing with me.

I need food. I'm a bit wary about going to the grocer quite yet because of the blackouts-- I want to make sure the food I buy isn't going to go old in a day or two because it was left without cold for so long. I could buy dry goods, but I want ice cream and pierogies, and I'm afraid if I go get them now, they'll all be refrozenish. And yeah. I need to go anyway, I have one box of rice pilaf and one can of soup. I do have pasta, but I have nothing to put on it and protein is important. I got a new toaster, so I can finally eat my Pop Tarts, but, well, I don't think Frosting counts as a nutritional supplement.

Gonna put on my headphones, tune stuff out.

so in the morning i was looking in the mirror while i brushed my teeth. i'm losing weight again and i don't know, i think it's getting to the creepy stage. the thing is, i'm not skinny. my legs are still thick and i've still got a nice layer of flab on my arms. my boobs, as always, are still enormous. but my waist. my god. my waist is so small in comparison to my chest that i look like i'm going to break from the weight. when i stickout my gut, in months lately i've had a gut, but that went away, and now there's just this strange contradiction in body parts going on.

i haven't had much of an appetite lately. i've been eating lunch probably 2/3 of the time, and when i do i usually have a yogurt and maybe some chips. yogurt is yummy. the main reason or this is that the food selections in the neighborhood of my office suck. even though i'm not really eating enough, there's nowhere around to get a good sandwich and i'm the sort of person who will go hungry before i'll eat bad food. spoiled, spoiled tea.

the funny thing is, at dinnertime i haven't been much hungry either. =P a lot of the time i can't finish my food. i think a lot of it is the heat, it makes hot food hard to eat. i dunno.