How to shorten Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by 500 pages

[teaberryblue]

http://london.craigslist.org/laf/304872107.html
http://london.craigslist.org/laf/304875071.html

Comments

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

No one has replied to either of them yet! :-(

[liret.livejournal.com]

Harry is definitely not going to save the world if this is the best he can do. L.V.'s add is much more tempting.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

He should have had Hermione write it, really.

[liret.livejournal.com]

Yes. I think we all know what would happen if the final showdown between good and evil was a battle of verbal skills.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Harry: HEY! DOESN'T CAPSLOCK COUNT FOR ANYTHING?

[liret.livejournal.com]

Voldemort: Your capslock of rage . . . can not stand . . . against my dark ellipsis. . . .

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Hermione: Quiver in fear at the massive girth of my vocabulary, bitches!

[dragonmagelet.livejournal.com]

Did you find these, or write them, I must know?

(*love*, either way XD )

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Guilty.

One of my other lj friends used Craigslist for the first time, and somehow it led me to that.

[rhikat.livejournal.com]

Life would be so much easier for the Wizarding World if they'd just get with it and start using the internet.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

OotP with the Internet:

BoyWhoL1ved80: Srs! R U kdinaped?
AngstyPup: no i'm rite here. kreacher is lookin at the fire 4 sum reazin. whassup?
BoyWhoL1ved80: Sum1 is tryin 2 keel u1!1@12!11
AngstyPup: 0 n0ez! I stay h0mez!
BoyWhoL1ved80: ok good.

[joannabanana23.livejournal.com]

I was already LMAO at the Craigslist stuff, and then I got to this post and noodles came flying out of my mouth with alarming velocity!

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

BoyWhoL1ved80: acci0 pr0nz?

[kiwi-magic.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY random, but speaking of spells, I get to learn Harry Potter spells in Latin every so often! "Expecto" is coming up soon! It means "wait for, await, expect." Yay!!!

[rhikat.livejournal.com]

You forgot Harry's capslock!

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

OH SHIT I DID SORRY

[patagonian.livejournal.com]

Best. Craigslist. Ever.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Thanks :-D

[patagonian.livejournal.com]

You are most welcome. I'm still grinning whenever I think of it :)

[crazy-megan.livejournal.com]

lol - beautiful

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

No one has answered either ad yet :-( I wonder why?

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

PRECIOUS JAVI ESSENCE!

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

*posts another ad to craigslist*

[seraphtrevs.livejournal.com]

OMG WIN! XD

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

STILL NO RESPONSES!

YOU WOULD THINK SOMEONE WOULD AT LEAST WANT TO BE SPARED IN THE MUGGLE HOLOCAUST

[gabbygrl.livejournal.com]

SO FANTABULOUS.

[deutscheami.livejournal.com]

Tea, you are my favorite person ever.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

SENTIMENT RETURNED :-*

[evil-laugher.livejournal.com]

Wow, I don't even remember that plotline. I think I accidentally blocked HFB out of my memory.

[evil-laugher.livejournal.com]

And I also butchered the acronym.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter and the High-Flood Pants?

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

*nominates for Best Of*

This rocks! :)

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA if that makes best of I will wet myself maybe.

[mel06.livejournal.com]

ROFL

[tigera4j.livejournal.com]

The win! I love LV's more, though. Muggle holocaust indeed. And another part of him lol. Reeaally.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

Haha thanks. I wrote LV's first, I think that's why it's funnier. That and because he probably had his Craigslist-trolling minion write it.

I think liret said up above, if it were up to these ads, Voldy would so get the locket.

[liret.livejournal.com]

That's just because the dark side can offer untold wealth and power and sparing your life, while the forces of good can just offer moral superiority. That really isn't so useful.

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA! That's freaking amazing!

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

You really can find anything on craigslist!

I wish it wasn't illegal to misrepresent items for sale, or I would SO put up an eBay ad from Regulus.